Get People On Board — Or You Could Fail Entirely
If the person closest to us is not on board with our goals, we invest in them until they naturally come on board.
You need to tell everyone your goals.
It’s not enough to just tell them. You need to hire a plane and have it written in the sky sot hey see it. Every day.
I’m just kidding. That would be terrible for the environment and your bank account.
Defeat Scarcity Mindset — Before It Kills Your Passion
Notes from Chapter 7 of Overlap by Sean McCabe
Seriously, though, you need to make sure everyone around you knows your goals.
They can’t just know them, they need to support you.
I don’t mean support you financially. Just emotionally.
They need to be on board with your goals.
If they’re not, they’ll be dragging you down.
We can cut some people from our lives, but not everyone.
If there’s someone who absolutely will not support your goals, you need to cut them from your life.
If you can’t cut them because they’re a family member or adjoined twin, you’ll have to minimize your time dealing with them.
Luckily, most people are able to be brought on board.
Chances are, the bulk majority of folks in your life will be in that camp.
They might not be on board now, but we’ll get them there.
It all starts with communication.
I’m going to use the example of your partner for the rest of this, but you can replace that word with whoever it is in your life that this episode makes you think of.
It could be your mom or dad or partner or best friend.
For the sake of simplicity, we’ll use partner as an example.
You have to communicate you goal with your partner.
You pretty much have to tell them every day until they can repeat it back to you.
I haven’t tried this with my partner yet, but I will after this post.
Another thing I’m going to do is put a big personal goal tracking calendar next to our shared wall calendar.
Our shared calendar is where we write all of our appointments and such.
This other calendar will have my goal written at the top of it, and a space to draw a big X on every day that I do something working towards my goal.
We’ll talk more about that calendar in the next post. The idea actually comes from the comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
We previously talked about our list of 20 things that will get us closer to our goal.
We need to do one of those each day.
That’s what the calendar is for.
It will also be able to remind my partner and myself what my goal is.
To reinforce it, I’ll be saying it out loud to her.
If you can’t communicate your goal, that’s your fault.
If your partner just doesn’t get it, that’s your fault.
The burden of communication is on the communicator, not the receiver.
If they don’t get it, you need to find a way for them to get it.
Repeat it every day.
Write it somewhere they’ll see it every day.
It is your responsibility to get through to them. Don’t stop until you do.
They don’t get it until they can repeat it back to you.
Repeating your goal back to you isn’t enough. They have to be on board.
The best way to get someone on board with something is to invest in them first.
Invest completely in your partner first.
Invest in their goals. Their dreams.
Sit down and find out what these things are and invest in them first.
It might take weeks, months, years.
It doesn’t matter.
We’re not going to be selfish. We’re going to be patient.
We will put everything into our partners goals until they achieve them.
Then, our partners will do the same for us.
We’re gonna do this right.
I just said this, but it’s worth repeating: It doesn’t matter how long it takes.
If we’re going to pursue our own goals, we’re going to do it right.
We want our partner on board because if they’re not, things might not turn out great.
That’s not a risk we are willing to take.
You might achieve your goals at the cost of your relationship.
Then you won’t have them there to enjoy the success with.
That’s not an acceptable outcome.
We will invest in our partners until they have achieved what they want, and then they will invest in us.
If your partner doesn’t have goals, make sure they’re on board with yours.
My partner has been discussing going back to school for some time, but hasn’t decided on what to study yet.
When she does, I’m all in on it.
I already told her I’d be willing to take on more hours so that she could work less if she has to.
For her to get out of the current job and get into something better, it’s totally worth it.
Until then, I’m going to keep working on my goals.
If there’s something I need to do to make her goals more achievable, I’ll do it.
It doesn’t matter if my goals get put on hold.
We’re going to do this the right way, or not at all.
The last part of sharing goals is getting accountability.
Sean points out three types of accountability:
With public accountability, we tell the world what we’re up to.
This could be through a blog or article like this, or a podcast.
Maybe you post daily on your social media about it.
That’s public accountability.
It’s also a really great way to grow an audience, which we talked about in episode 13 of the No Alarms Club podcast, titled “Practice In Public.”
Partner accountability is what we’ve been talking about this whole time. Getting your partner on board, but also them holding you accountable.
My partner knows when I need to get something done, she’ll do what she can to motivate me to go back into the office and do it.
It’s really great.
Sometimes it’s something silly like “you’re not allowed to kiss me until it’s done.”
It’s a win for both of us when I finish, but it’s a lose for both of us until then.
That’s how you know someone’s on board.
They’re willing to be right there next to you suffering for the goal.
Personal accountability is being accountable yourself.
A lot of people don’t do this.
I’m terrible at it.
I can’t hold myself accountable for crap.
I just don’t care about letting myself down.
It’s fine; I’ll do it later.
I say that to myself all the time.
What I don’t want to do is let others down.
That’s when I get motivated.
That’s how most people are.
We still need to learn to be held personally accountable.
We need to stop letting ourselves get away with unnecessary failure.
Today, we get out there and get publicly accountable.
This is me being publicly accountable, right here.
Don’t you dare let me stop showing up.